A paraprosdokian /pærəprɒsˈdoʊkiən/ is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word.
1. Where there's a will, I
want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But
it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with
you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn
how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only
who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is
not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is
plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was
your fault; I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an
application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put,
'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a
parachute to skydive more than once.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now
I'm not so sure..
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first
and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't
make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a
car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17.
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to
find one now.
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