Objective Proficiency p 119. Captain disillusion and the tumba ping pong

We need:
* Three table tennis bats
* Three large sharp kitchen knives
* One ping pong ball
* One pineapple
OK, let’s start with Miss Ping. Miss Ping – you are holding two table tennis bats – one in each hand. Slightly Mad Max – I want you to stand in front of Miss Ping so that you are facing each other. Slightly Mad Max – you are holding two large kitchen knives, one in each hand. There is also a table tennis bat in your back pocket. Now put one of the kitchen knives between your teeth and with your free hand, take the table tennis bat out of your back pocket. Now when I count to three, Slightly Mad Max, you are going to hit the knife hard at Miss Ping. And Miss Ping, you are going to block the knife with one of your table tennis bats. The knife is going to stick into it. Are you ready? 1, 2, 3 – go!
Slightly Mad Max – take the second knife from out of your mouth and do the same. Miss Ping – you will block this knife with your other table tennis bat. Are you ready? 1, 2, 3 - go! Now DJ Coolman – you are holding a pineapple. I want you to stand behind Miss Ping and hold the pineapple just above her head. Keep your fingers out of way. Slightly Mad Max – you will find another knife in your other back pocket. Take it out. Now hit it with your table tennis bat and try to cut the pineapple in half. Are you ready? 1, 2, 3 – go!
And finally – Slightly Mad Max – there is a ping pong ball in your jacket pocket. Take it out. You are going to hit it at Miss Ping’s face as hard as you can. Miss Ping – you are going to catch the table tennis ball in your mouth. Are you ready? 1, 2, 3 – go!

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